Come along on my faith-based, encouraging, and humorous journey as the Lord Heals me from the invasion of breast cancer.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

UPdate and Lessons I've Learned.

Hi friends.
A quick update to let you know what is going on.
AND lessons learned.

I am feeling good. Have an appointment with my oncologist this Friday. With an allergist and Asthma Dr Monday. I need to get my asthma under control.  Praising the Lord I get this all done before Obamacare hits the land.  LOL

Lessons I have learned:

I am loved. Loved by friends and and people I don't even know.  By family especially my sweet husband and son and even wonder dog Jacs. and of course by God. 

The Lord gave me such an awesome time of fun. One of my good friends broke a non-weight bearing bone in her leg. While she couldn't work, we were able to meet and enjoyed eating out and long talks about the Lord. Such an amazing time of fun.  Then she went back to work and my friend, Liz Babbs, from England came over to see me and minister to me. We stayed at a hotel in Fort Worth and did a few touristy things but mainly enjoyed one another's company and our time with the Lord.

After prayer time, she told me the Lord said He loved me. And said "Well done faithful servant." 

How awesome. And in the scheme of worldly works, I haven't done anything. But the Lord knows more than that. Weeks before, I had felt that nudge from the Holy Spirit that He wanted to meet with me. I ran to my office. The Lord met me there and told me He loved me. told me that His yoke was easy and His burden light. 

That was it. I received it.

And the Lord has blessed me in so many ways. From friends sending cards, notes on fb, meals that they've brought. AND PRAYERS. Can't say how much I appreciate all the prayers.  Trust me, they make a difference.  And I am sure in ways I don't even know.

I am loved. 
I Fear Not.
And I am the healed of the Lord.

Oh, and I had surgery Sept 24th.  More on that after Friday.  : )

God loves you too  He is not a respecter of persons. His lesson for me applies to any who call on His Name. 

Monday, August 12, 2013

My last Chemo today!

Hi Friends.

Thought I would let you in on what is going on.
Jacs is busy reading my book Liberty Belle.  : )
While I am trying to finish my second book - Golden Dreams.

The chemo I just finished is Taxol and makes the tips of my fingers numb. I take Neurotin to combat the neuropathy. Not bad and the Lord has assured me that it will go away.

I had a Cat Scan last Friday.

The results - no cancer showed up, but there were a few things on my lungs. DR said don't worry that it could just be the way my lungs are and in three months they'll take another scan. I am not worried.


I have a mastectomy scheduled for Sept 24.  Trying to decide if I want them to take both breasts or just the one.  Leaning toward just the one right now.

After surgery and a few weeks of healing I will start radiation. Told it is not a big deal but might make me tired.  Oh well, me and the recliner have grown used to each other.  : )

I feel good, just a little tired.

My appetite has come back in the form of a Labrador retriever.  I will eat anything. This is after months of ugh, I have to eat something. So whatever my brain and stomach decided they wanted,  I would eat.

Now, whatever I think of to eat,  my stomach is a bouncing ball of joy shouting "yeah, yeah let's eat"  Yikes have decided I better discipline that dog or I will blimp out and gain all that weight I lost.

Plus after a couple of weeks to get the Taxol out of my system, I am going to start eating healthy again.

In two weeks, I am ditching the hats and going fuzzy.

Below is a sneak peak of me all natural in my fuzz do. I am wearing the T Shirt the sweet chemo nurses gave me for finishing the chemo.

Love you all
And I really do appreciate all the prayers and encouragement.

The Logo on the T shirt  reads
Celebrate Life!

I would add  Celebrate Life in Christ!

Forward! Charge! and Overcoming in the Name of the Lord! 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Wow, it's been over a month!

I can't believe it has been over a month since my last post. Where has the time gone? And what have I been doing?  Well, look at my dog Jacs in the picture to the right and I hate to say it but I have resembled that look (minus the hair of course : )

Still have fuzz for hair. Hubby calls me fuzzy. I don't mind but I am missing having hair. I usually wear a hat when I go out. Might go rogue and go out to eat without one. Feel like I need to be bold. 

The other day I sent my hubby a pic of me and the pup and almost gagged at the sight of me. Yuch I look sick.
Current chemo makes me pale. 

But then I thought about it. I have had six courses of poison pumped into me. My red blood cells take a beating each time and that tends to wear a person out. And cancer has attacked me. I finally realized I am sick.  Never thought of myself that way before.  Probably because I felt fine despite the fact that cancer had attacked me. 

A little funny in the odd way that the cure has made me feel sick. But that is often the case with our modern medicine isn't it. Much of the no pain no gain mentality.

Not complaining. I haven't had an upset stomach once and that is big for me. Just feel tired and weaker than normal.

So now that I have decided I am sick - healing takes on a new meaning. Now I can be healed of something. And I'll know it!

SO I am  believing for healing from on high.  That I will be able to walk on the treadmill and not grow faint. That my hair will grow. That my strength will be renewed 

And that I will finish my book Golden Dreams 

Have a blessed day

Jeremiah 30:17 "For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord."

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Chemo #4 Doing Well.

Had chemo #4 Monday.  Doing well although it does take some out of me.

But this is the last with the Big Red drug which is apparently a rough one. So hopefully the next 4 will be a little easier.

Big Red is hard on the red blood cells and I have lost some. Makes me tired. So I have been eating steak and that helped a little.

Can't complain about that  : )

So today I will rest and write.

Yes, am working on my book again. YAY  the Lord gave me fresh ideas so am excited for this book again.

Strength.  You really don't know to call out for the Lord's strength until you find yours is missing.

God is good. And He promises He is our strength.

Still learning how to lean on Him. But trusting that HE is good and His promises are true

Have a blessed day.

Learning to walk in Him. Abide in Him. Walking that narrow way.

Jeremiah 30:17 "For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord."

Friday, June 14, 2013

How's it Going?

My Office!

After five days of grunting, groaning, and reorganziing

I actually have an office I like to go into and one I can actually work in.

AND I did this during my weakest days. With a lot of help from my sweet husband. Had to wait for him to move all my heavy things. but it is finally done.

Whew! Wore me out!

Yes, I am weak from the chemo drugs. They apparently have eaten up some of my red blood cells.  SO I am eating steak and spinach and almonds to boost my count.

Also am exercising. Not a lot, but something is better than nothing,

SO I am feeling good but tired going into the weekend and Monday
will have chemo #4.  The last with Big Red drug.

And then will have an evaluation to see what is going on.  Will have a mammogram on the 28th.

The major thing I need to change is to put God First back in my life.
Somehow, I have managed to slide away from that sweet spot.

HE said narrow is the way and how true.  So easy to fall off that path
and find yourself in the brambles of life wondering where God went.

Oh He is still on the abundant life trail but I am not.

SO working on getting myself back up there.
God's presence is so wonderful not sure why I let the world yank me down
but it doesn't seem to be a hard thing to allow to happen.

Thankfully, God's mercy is new every morning and He eagerly awaits my arrival.

Healing Scripture
James 5:16 - Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Friday, June 7, 2013

What are you facing?

No matter what we are facing, we need to do just that - face it!

Don't run! Fear NOT!

BUT go forward.

Yep that is my exercise bike. Rode it 10 minutes yesterday
and 10 this morning. Plan to ride it at least 2 more sets of 10 minutes today.

A step at a time is how we beat what is facing us. A step forward and not back.

Don't know what to do?

Ask the Lord. He promises to give us wisdom if we but ask.

Don't believe me - look it up. Go to Bible Gateway and search for wisdom.

Time to flex those feeble muscles and begin to make them grow.

Spiritual as well as physical muscles need to be used to make them stronger. USE THEM.

OK, just a little prod to step forward.  Remember one step at a time will get you there. Take a step now. Determine one thing you need to do and do it. ONE THING

Excited for all of you!

Let's go

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Chemo #3

Just a quick update

Yep, yesterday had Chemo #3.  Went well and I feel great!
Finally got over the flu bug and must a got my perk back. So I feel really good.

The invading tumor is shrinking. [actually it started shrinking even before I started any chemo]  I can hear the cancer shrieking.  LOL

Big Red sent it's shock and awe bombs into the tumors and then my stealth drug hunted the stragglers and killed the bad cells.

Of course my good cells had their Holy Spirit hazmat suits on.

So I am pleased to say that I feel great.

Even managed to water the yard and clean out the fridge.

Now onto finishing that book!!

Love all you friends and encouragers.

Thanks for all the prayers.  I know they are keeping me going strong.

Jeremiah 30:17 
"For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord."

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Did you get the license to that truck?

Wow! Where have I been?

It wasn't chemo that got me. It was the flu bug Semi carrying a trailer full of congestion, coughing, and fatigue.

After more than 2 weeks, I am finally feeling good. Wow what a nasty bug.  So weak I couldn't even write.  THAT IS BAD!

But I am back!!!

Feeling good today and gathering strength.

Good news - I have lost more weight where I am no longer overweight.  Not quite to the 135 they say I am supposed to weigh but under 150 and I haven't seen that in 20 years.

Now I need to exercise. Yikes I am all flab.  Need some muscles.

Chemo #3 should happen Monday.   Had to skip one because of the bug.

One thing that I am really not happy with, is this bug derailed me spiritually too. I did nothing and God wasn't even on the horizon.  I thank the Lord that He didn't forget me. But I learned a lesson, no matter what keep God first.

Also - sad news. While I was languishing with the flu bug, my sweet Father in law went to be with the Lord. He is definitely happier now. I did get to say good bye to him. Bittersweet times. I do miss him, but I am happy to have my house back.

At times it was like  grand central station with all his caregivers.

So, with my goal to heal and get healthier, I am now taking over my house again.

First thing - change the room my FIL stayed in.  It is now my play room - or will be.
Tearing up the carpet - paint the walls a pretty aqua color - tile the floor.  Can't wait to get started.

Remember God is always good!

Lamentations 3:22-25

22 It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Chemo session #2

My little oasis outside on the front porch.

Had my 2nd chemo 'smart bomb' session yesterday.  No problems. My blood counts were good and I am doing well.  Tumor was smaller.  yay! DIE CANCER DIE.

I get the Big Red drug I call that my shock and awe going to blast the cancer to bits. Then I get a colorless T drug that is my stealth.  Any unsuspecting cancer cells not obliterated by Big Red are killed by the stealth drug.

And my good cells have their hazmat suits on and shields up. SO All is well.

Monday - felt good, ate well, and slept.  Sleepy day and night until midnight. Then got up and did laundry. Went back to sleep at 3:30  AM

Tuesday - Feel great.  Asthma a little yuch and chest hurts but not bad. Feel great and am sitting outside getting ready to work on finishing Golden Dreams.

Wednesday - feel good, a little weak. But determined to get my book finished.

Thursday - feel good, went to a nutrition class - eat veggies and fruit. Tired at night but good.

Friday - feel good but fatigue hits today.  good day though,

Thanks for all the prayers. I know they are lifting me up.

Praise the Lord.

Mark 11:24 "Therefore I say to you whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them."

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Hair today Gone Tomorrow Saturday

Here I am. Last moments with hair.  Yes, last Monday we asked and the nurse said the hair would fall out usually on the 15th or 16th day. Well that is Monday or Tuesday.

So, my sweet hubby and I decided it was best to whack it off before it could fall off.

This is Saturday afternoon, moments before I attacked my hair with a scissors.

 A few minutes later, and my hair is in the sink
and I realize that I do not have a career in
hair cutting.

Oh, well.  always wanted to do that, now I have done it.

Have to admit after the first clump was cut, I wondered - what if they called and said it wouldn't fall out!

My good friend, Connie, giving the  buzz  to my hair.
I call it my tennis ball hair cut.  : )

< see my  hats. I really need them because my head gets cold.

So this is me now.  Not glamorous, but not shrinking back. NEVER. I will not be stopped by the invader. Rather, I am charging full steam ahead to what the Lord has for me.

FEAR NOT people. God is good and promises all things to work out for good to those called according to His purpose.

Jeremiah 30:17 "For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord."

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Hello Kitty

Yep, that is me with my new hat from my awesome friend, Connie.  Love my hat. So I am prepared for the no hair day. Which is coming up this weekend. Going to shear it off Fri of Sat.  Kind of exciting. - no more hair in my eyes, no more blowing my hair dry, just wash and wear. and my hat.

Today is Hello Kitty day because I am finding out what fatigue and weak means.  I feel good but this weekend was fatigued.  Which means I can do things but don't want too.

Today, Tuesday, I have gotten past fatigue but fell in the weak category - Hence the Hello Kitty as in weak as a kitten.  Not actually that bad. Just weak but still exercising.

Went to DR yesterday for labs and checkup. Doing good except of course I don't have any of the baby white blood cells. But they should be kicking in in a day or two.

So for the meantime I am relaxing in the goodness of the Lord. Thankful for a sweet husband and son - who makes me french toast.  : )

Just got to love my family.

I have flowers to look at, a garden that is growing, and love that passes all understanding.

I am writing. Yay me.  I will get this book done!!! And many others after it.

My creativity is not suffering.

Well, just wanted to give you a quick update.

Next Chemo date is Monday May 6th.  Pray that all my good levels are good to go so I can take the chemo.

Pray for strength for  me.  I have been pondering the verses - The  Lord is my strength, Where I am weak He is strong, The joy of the Lord is my strength.

Hmm lots to ponder and how to receive. Working on that.  : )


Psalm 19:14
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

How is it going? Great!!!

Well this is day 2 after the chemo -smart bombs have gone off.
So far so good.

The day of chemo - just felt a heaviness. Not bad.

Day +1 woke up feeling good. Had a good day. Went and got my shot to help my white blood cells grow. We did errands and walked around the mall. Last night had some heart burn.

Day +2 - feel good. Had a shower. A little weak. But made french toast and gobbled it all down. No errands today. Although have to take hubby to eye dr for a checkup at 2:30

All in all - good!

What I know - is the Lord has me wrapped in a blanket of love. I feel it. From Him, from my friends and family.
My husband who is taking such good care of  me. My sweet son who is making me a garden for fresh veggies and flowers.
My awesome friend Kathie who gave me a quilt - anointed quilt made with love. My sister-in-law who sent me a bracelet to remind me God loves me and they do too. My lamb sent to me from a writer friend to remind me whose I am. And all my friends and family who are praying. I know those prayers are storming heaven and working.
I am blessed.

Verse of the day

The Lord preserveth all them that love him

Monday, April 22, 2013

God Tough!

That's right. I am God tough because the Lord is my strength.
Verses on the Lord is my strength

So many good ones! Hard to pick just one.
Today is chemo -'smart bomb' day 1.
One of eight I will go through, at least for the first portion of my treatment.

Ephesians 6:10

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.

Do I look strong?  Not sure but I am happy. not going to steal my joy.
And see the laptop. Not going to stop my writing either.

Right now chemo med #2 is dripping in me. Seeking bad cells to kill.  Yeah I know it is not supposed to know the difference between the good and the bad, but my good cells have a Holy Ghost force field around them. 

The first med - Big Red  - is already in and kicking cancer butt. Don't feel anything but I know my Lord is healing me. 

This morning, I was actually excited to begin the program. Being gifted with curiosity helps. That and living for the moment. Never have been one to think about next week. I live in today. I think that helps me too.

I have several anti nausea drugs in me. And they should keep my tummy from revolting. I read that I shouldn't do any strenuous exercise for 48 hours because of Big Red. So today I will walk and work on balance and breathing exercise. 

I am writing here. Already have done a little on my book. 

I have Bible studies to listen to  - a broth to make, eggs to boil, Food stuff to figure out.

Bills to pay. 

Right now I do feel a heavyness. Not bad, just enough to let me know that something is going on. must be the explosions of my smart bombs as they are bursting and killing the cancer.  Go Team!  I am God Tough! His strength is flowing in me and I shall overcome this.

God is good. I'll give updates about what is going on.

Love all my praying friends and family.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Weird or Wired - I have a PORT

Well, a lot has happened in the last few days.
Yesterday, I had an MRI of my breasts at 6:30 AM - morning. Early.

That was an experience. Not bad at all, just weird. Lay face down on a massage like table with holes for your breasts to go into. Noisy so they give you earplugs and headset so you can listen to music instead of the jackhammer whirring snapping noises.

And there is the cold rush of the dye going into your veins. But it wasn't a bad experience.

Then to go home, wait for a while, take a shower with antibiotic soap and off to Baylor for the PORT.
Wish it was the ocean kind but it was the in your skin kind of thing. Very weird to have something under your skin and a wire in your neck. At least that is what it feels like. Doesn't hurt but feels strange.

But it is better than getting that 'little stick' in your  hand or arm to put an IV in.  Only took 15 or twenty minutes to get it in, but hours of waiting around before and an hour after. Anyone facing the fact that you are getting one - don't sweat it. Not a big deal.

So what is next?

I go to a chemo class to learn about the drugs they are going to put in me and what to expect.

Then Friday - I get my first treatment.  Ought to be interesting.

No Fear.  The Lord has me and is with me.

And that brings me to one of the good things that God is working out in all this.  LOVE. Receiving love that is. In the Beatitudes Jesus starts off with Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

If you don't know you are in need, you're going to miss out. Face it, when cancer attacks, you need healing, help and to know that your friends and family love you. But if you don't reach out and open your arms to receive it - you miss out. And if you can't receive - you can't give out either.

Faith is not saying  - "I don't  have a problem." when you and everyone around you can see that you do. Faith is going on, speaking the Word and telling that problem to go in the Name of Jesus. Walking out your faith and healing and life trusting the Lord is with you and will guide you.

I may not see the next step in front of me, but I am sure that the Lord is with me, walking along the journey with me, believing that the healing is real and will come. I will live and not die. That I know.

And I am learning to receive the love from my friends. Be thankful for their prayers - and I am grateful for each and every prayer. We are not put in this life to walk it out alone. God gives us family and friends because we need them. And they need us. Together we learn to trust the Lord and are blessed by blessing each other.

On my next post I'll show you a special love gift of healing from my God connected friend, Kathy. I am so excited to see what God is up to in all this.

 **Verse of the day

Isaiah 41:10

10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my 

Thursday, April 11, 2013


UPDATE - I am up! Up for whatever comes my way because I have an awesome God who is walking the journey with me. Up because I have wonderful praying and believing family, friends, and church. UP because I refuse to let the enemy get me down.

SO - what is new?  The decision is done. I am going down the chemo trail. Although I have changed the name of chemotherapy to 'smart bombs'   Yes, as the chemicals course down my veins and arteries, they are smart bombs - charged with the mission to seek out and destroy all enemy breast cancer cells.

Before I take the smart bombs, I am praying for the Lord to shield my good cells and surround them with His boundless love and protect them.

I have instituted the policy of stranger danger.  If any cell in my body notices a stranger cell, they are to jump up and down call for the cancer fighting cells to seek and destroy the intuders. I learned that breast cancer - even if it leaves the breast and tries to settle in somewhere else - it is still breast cancer.  So I think my body can just decide if they are a bone cell and notice a breast cancer cell moves next door that it is just WRONG.

LOL  I am a writer so why not have some fun. I like my idea of smart bombs, shields, and stranger danger.

What's new?   Had a skin biopsy on my breast to see if the discoloring on my boob was inflammatory breast caner. The RESULTS - NO. And there is virtually no discoloring on my breast at all now. Good work boob. You are fighting.  Praying that the Lord would heal me miraculously and the cancer would disappear.

Had an echo cardiogram - heart was good
Had a stress test today. - I think my heart did well. Feels good anyway.

TUES - I will have a port put in me so they can pour in the smart bombs. Not a big deal maybe 30 minutes.  But they have to put me out. Guess they don't want my help.  : )

Still have a chemotherapy class to go to sometime - don't know when.

And Smart bomb therapy will probably start Friday the 19th.

NO FEAR  God is with  me all the way and I already know that I will live and not die.

I plan to get a lot of writing done. Probably will stick close to home since apparently the smart bombs can lower my immune system.

Determined to write everyday on my book. NO matter how I feel.  The enemy will not win and I am determined to write more than ever.

I have enjoyed the time spent with my husband. Too bad it is going to docs, but we've enjoyed the time with each other.

Well, that is enough for now. I feel great! I know this is going to be sweet time with the Lord. I am actually excited.

***Verse of the day!

Mark 16:17-18

17 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

What is going on?

Hi friends.
Thought I'd put out a quick post and let you know what has been going on.

Mon - I spoke with a naturopathic doctor and ordered some supplements. He believes breast cancer follows a pattern of iodine deficiency in thyroid and domino effect from their. Sounded good to me.

Tues - went to heart doctor. Did ekg and there is something with left something or another. : ) So I have to have a echo cardiogram and stress test.  (Gee you'd think having a cancer attack you is enough stress)

Wed. - went to the oncologist. Really nice place filled with nice people. I like the doctor and she is a Christian. But only deals with chemotherapy.  The cancer that has attacked me is now listed as a Stage 3c. That is just a hair under a Stage 4.

Does that scare me?  NO. the Lord told me to fear not and I am still holding to that.

But I realize I have waffled from my standing on faith declaration a couple of Sunday's ago. And as a result I am in the valley of indecision. The T intersection is fast approaching. And I have decisions to make.

Do I go down chemo, surgery, chemo and radiation trail?

Or down the path of faith?

Even possible they are the same path.

So you see, I am struggling to make a decision.  At least I know, that whichever path I choose, I will live and not die. That I know. That I am sure of.

God is good and I believe  I will have a firm decision this weekend.

So pray for wisdom for me. and that I hear Him.

Love you all
FEAR NOT    The cancer is not going to take me out. THAT I know!

Verse of the week  [I will post to this blog on Thursdays]

Psalm 118:17
I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

A New Life is Dawning

                                                  Romans 6:4
Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

I believe I have been given a chance to turn my life over and live it in newness. I have turned from my zombie Christian life of existence and am excited by my new life walking in the spirit. Though I was born again and filled with His Spirit years ago, the turmoil busyness of life sucked the life out of me until I was merely going through the day, trying to get things done and then start over the following morning. Hamster wheel living.

So what has changed? 

I am alive! God has opened my eyes when I read His Word and it is alive to me. My spirit is pumping new life into me.

I'll be honest, it is a daily struggle to stay there. A struggle with my flesh and the busyness of the world. I dash out of the house with  my time with the Lord left for later. A time which rarely comes. 
Either I meet with Him in the morning, or it is likely not to happen.

God is the God of firsts.

But I am excited to see what He is going to do. I see others waking up too. We live in such exciting, although treacherous, times. 

I feel great and am exercising now. Bouncing on the mini trampoline. Supposedly if you do 2 minutes of rebounding that will flush your lymphatic system. Best it to do it every hour. That is not easy, but do it as often as you can.

I realize this new life will also result in a change of eating. No more cokes, fast food is out, and veggies and fruit are in. But I want to walk in health that the Lord provides in the foods He has given us. I want to have the energy to do what He has called me to do.

So onward! Fight the good fight! Trust in the Lord for He is our Victory! And through Him we overcome the world. And sin. and the wiles of the devil. 


Scripture for the day

2 Corinthians 4:10-11

10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11 For we which live are always delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

Monday, March 25, 2013

My Stony Heart

This road to healing is a rocky path. I have asked the Lord to create in me a clean heart. And He is. But He is also overturning some major rocks in my heart. A big one emerged yesterday. Rebellion. Yuch.
I wrote my devotion on it this morning. You can click here and read it.

Since the disease that has attacked me is actually nothing more than cells in rebellion, it is imperative I deal with the rebellion in my heart. So I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do with me as He cleans me up and gives me a heart of flesh for my stony heart.

I like the picture for today. It reminds me of the Sea of Galilee but is actually Joe Pool Lake in Cedar Hill, Texas, close to where I  live. Might have to go out there in a few days.

I believe I am healed. Had wonderful prayer at church last night. I know I am healed. Praise the Lord. He is good and His mercy is forevermore.

Which brings me to another thing the Lord has impressed on me, Who do I say Jesus is?  How do I really see Him? In my head, I know the right answers, but in my heart I think I haven't reached out to just Who He is. The woman with the issue of blood, she knew who she was reaching out to. She knew that if she but touched the hem of His garment she would be healed. She knew who she was dealing with.

So that is where I am at today. Just who do I say Jesus is?
The Lord of Lords, King of Kings. My healer, The One who Provides, The One who holds me in His hands. The One who holds life.

That is my contemplation for the day. I desire to see Who Jesus is. Not just with my mind, but with my heart of hearts.

Verse of the day

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

Friday, March 22, 2013

Staying Alive in a Culture of Death

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

On this Journey to healing and standing on the Rock that is higher than I, I am beginning to realize the forces set against me. Yikes! There are eels (enemy's evil lies) all around me. 

Why is that? Why is the opposition so strong?

Matthew 13:58

58 And he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief.

Jesus was in his own hometown and they did not recognize Him for who He was. They saw Him as the carpenter's son. Not as Jesus the Son of God. God come in the flesh to save us. 

1. Doubt and unbelief - Not recognizing who Jesus is

Another reason I believe is that our nation, the Good old USA, has embraced a culture of death. From tear 'em up moves, slasher shows, and entertainment that glorifies killing. How  many murders have we seen on TV/Movies? Uncountable I would say. We have been desensitized to the taking of life.

2. Our Entertainment that feeds on death

To go along with our culture of death is our throw away attitude. Life is not valued. Because of money and ease - we throw away babies and call it abortion. Over 50 million have been killed. And now, the elderly and disabled are being thrown away by hospice induced euthanasia. [there are some valid hopsice centers and workers - but make sure that is where you are sending your loved ones. Check it out. Many are killed by morphine cocktails to induce coma and then starved. I know there are good Dr and nurses, but there are many who have given over to the system and have become purveyors of death. Check them out. This is just a warning to any who have had a hospital suggest hospice for your loved ones.] 

3. A nation that supports the death of the innocent, the weak, and helpless.

Whew! Heavy stuff. Sad. Appalling. Sobering. What can we do?

Go to the author of Life! 

John 14:6

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

John 6:63

63 It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.

So I am washing myself in the Word. Praying for Him to create in me a clean heart. Guarding my eyes and mind on what I watch and read. 

How can I ask for healing if I am wallowing in the culture of death?

I have some tuff questions for myself. Am I promoting life or death? Am I eating from the Tree of Life or the Tree of knowledge of good and evil? What fruit am I producing? 

But thank you Lord that you are greater than I. You have given me Holy Spirit to lead and guide and teach me. You are the Rock that is higher than I. 

God have mercy on me. And give me strength to walk the path you have set before me.

God is good! Never doubt it. 

Verse of the day

Romans 8:11

11 But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Swirling Storms

So, I had the biopsy on my neck. Chest really. Hopefully they poked the right thing. Can't wait till they see what they got. I am picturing hundreds of little cancer killers jumping up an down and having a pep rally.  : )

Biopsy not bad at all. Just three little pricks and done. The place and workers seemed out of sorts, so I prayed for peace to fall in the place.

Then hubby and I went to Logan's and split steak and lobster.  Yum. We were good and drank water. Came home and played ball with Jacs so he'd be happy and let me write.

So what are the swirling storms?

My sweet father-in-law had to go back to the hospital. Same problem as before - He has congestive heart failure and his heart is about worn out. At 91 its ticked for a long time. Hopefully he will get better and be able to come home.  We have the Visiting Angels take care of him 24/7 already so he gets plenty of TLC.

Obama's death squad is after him. Wants him to go to hospice. I think not. God has the day when he will bring Norm home and no Dr Death is going to intervene. Beware people, they are out there and after your loved ones who are old and disabled. They need to clean out room for the 20 million people they want to add to the health system (without adding one doctor or clinic)

My house is in disarray. Physically and spiritually. Need to do some major cleaning this weekend on both.

I am feeling out of balance. Need to get Christ Centered in order to fight this battle.
Yes, Jesus is my healer. But I do have things I need to do to.

1. Pray first thing in the morning - might mean I have to wake up earlier.
2. Study His Word. Speak it aloud. Record it and play it back at night.
3. Pray for wisdom
4. Get my new eating down right.
5. Exercise.

Basically I need to get myself in order. That's where #1 above will actually take care of the rest.

BUT I am still excited. Still standing on the Rock that is higher than I. Still believing that by Jesus stripes I am healed. On earth as it is in heaven.

Still on fire to help others know the truth.

Be not deceived. We are in the last days. The anit-christ spirit is alive and well and deluding many of our Christian brother and sisters. I pray the Lord of the Harvest wake them up. I pray that He keep me awake and alive.

Verse of the day

Psalm 118:17

17 I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Relaxing in the Son

The days are full of life and so am I. God is good. More than able to conquer anything that comes against me.

Since I took my stand of faith and am declaring that I am healed by the stripes of Jesus, ew there have come some EELS [enemy's evil lies] after me. Have an appointment with an Oncologist on April 3. The Dr called about a biopsy on a lymph node on my neck set up for tomorrow.

But no matter. I am healed. The healed of the Lord. Standing on His Word. not mine. For He is truth.

So, what am I up to?

Rejoicing in the sure Word of the Lord and feeling more alive than ever. I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do.

Fear not!  Again I say, and what's more - the Word of the Lord says fear not. We are to fear [reverence in holy awe] only God. God's perfect love cast out fear. For if I believe the Lord is for me, Loves me, what do I have to fear?

Fear is the enemy of faith.  Fear says God is not big enough, is lacking, or is withholding good from you. LIE

God gave us His Word that we can stand. For He is all capable, all loving, and my Rock.

I have been speaking His Word aloud. I record it on my phone and then play it back at night. Love it

I also speak to my right boob - "Boob, you are in mortal danger.  I will live but you better line up under the Word of God and kick some cancer butt."  [sorry if boob and butt offends you, but I am at war]

And I speak the Word to my body and soul and spirit. For the Word quickeneth to life.

Healing Scripture for the day

Psalm 118:17

17 I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.

How can we so bold as to declare this?
God gave us His word. He likes it when we speak it back to Him. By Baptism I have already passed from life to death and into eternal life. The Life I live is in Christ already. So this is truth.

Okay prayer warriors and friends, I am putting on my armor and going out to see what the Lord would have me see and do. Hallelujah!

Praise the Lord always in all things giving thanksgiving because He is worthy.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Taking a Stand on the Rock

Faith day today.
Psalm 61:2
2 From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

The Rock that is higher than I. Jesus. His Word. His Promises. What he accomplished for us on the cross. Salvation. Healing. Restoration. All by His Blood shed for me and for whoever believes on Him.

Jesus taught us to pray:
Matthew 6:8-10
8 Be not ye therefore like unto them:
 for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.
9 After this manner therefore pray ye: 
Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

When I asked Jesus into  my heart, repented of my sins, I became a child of God.
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; 
but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry,
Abba, Father.

Hallowed by Thy name. Sacred, Holy is God's Name.
Philippians 2
9 Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him [Jesus], 
and given him a name which is above every name:
10 That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
 of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;

Thy kingdom come Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

On the cross, Jesus declared - It is finished. God set His claim of dominion back over the earth. Wrestled it away from Satan and destroyed the works of the enemy taking the keys of hell and death that whoesever believe on Jesus should be saved.

God's will. How do we know it?  
His Word. Jesus, the Word of God, came in the flesh and dwelt among us. His Word. Jesus. Word of Life.
John 1
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

I am the healed of the Lord. By His stripes I was healed. Complete, whole. Jesus accomplished that on the cross. The Word of God is true.
Am I being brash and arrogant to declare that I am the healed of the Lord? No. I am merely saying what the Lord has said. Believing Him.

Matthew 21:22

22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer,
believing, ye shall receive.
Jeremiah 17:14
14 Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.

SO this day, Faith Day, Sunday 03-17-13, I believe that I am the healed of the Lord. I confess I had squiggly areas of shaky faith where the 'what ifs' the 'and thens' the 'buts' assaulted me. But today. Today.I stand on the Rock that is Higher than I. Not by my might, power, or strength but by His Spirit and declare that I believe I am the healed of the Lord. No more doubts. My eyes and heart afixed on my Savior. On what He did for me and whoever believes. On the measure of Faith that He has given me, I stand. SURE. Undefeated. Victorious overcoming Faith that is a gift from God and agree with the Word of God. That as it is in heaven, so shall it be on earth. In me. 

And I praise Him. Glorify the Most High God. For in Him we have overcome the world.


Friday, March 15, 2013

Petscan Day

Well, today I was injected with radiation and sent into a donut so the docs could see if the nasty invaders have gone anywhere else.

Of course, the cancer is dead in Jesus Name.

This is the building the place I went to is attached to. I liked the idea of cyberknife. : )

I am thankful for people who work in the medical profession and ask that the Lord would touch them and bless them.

Overall, this morning was relaxing. Got there, had to wait a little and then went into a room where a really nice guy - who happens to be a believing Christian - injected me with the radioactive stuff. Then had to sit in the chair for an hour. Fell asleep with Jesus on my mind.

Then they wake me up and off to the donut we go. An impressive machine - Positron Emission Tomography that scanned me from eyes to thighs. Won't know the results for 24-48 hours and with the weekend in between maybe longer. Not worried. I am safe in the Shadow of the Most High.

Not scary at all. Piece of cake.

Then off to lunch we went.  Had steak and lobster with my sweet hubby. Steak is supposed to be good to get the radiation out.

Now it's back to the veggies.

A nice glass of Perfect Food - Raw - grass - taste like grass but in apple juice not so bad. Ate an apple - have to keep those doctors away : ) And my water.

My body hasn't seen this many fruits and veggies and water in 40 years. Or probably ever.

But I feel great!  After that radiation in me, I felt like I could leap tall buildings.  : )

I feel the hand of God on my head.
I can hear the whispers of prayers of my sweet friends, family and church going up to the Throne Room of God. Thank you all, your prayers are appreciated.
And I am flying on the Love of God.

Even though it took a death warrant from the enemy, I rejoice in My Lord that He has captured me. Set me on a high place and I am praising Him. Learning to walk in that newness of life. You can read about that in  my Devotion today.

God is Good!  NEVER forget that.
And Through Him we overcome the world and the devil.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Let the Son Shine in!

Nothing lights up the world like sunshine.
Nothing lights up my world like Sonshine.

I'm doing good. I know it should be well, but good just sounds better. Then again, WELL in the sense of wholeness - guess I should say - I am doing WELL!

I have a pet scan tomorrow - yes I will be a glowing! But only for a little while.

Haven't seen any difference yet. BUT faith is not seen it is the power to make it happen whether I see it or not.

By His stripes I was healed. Standing on that verse. And it is truth.

1 Peter 2:24
Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

Some like to say that healings stopped with the disciples. I don't think so. I've seen people healed.  And God is the same yesterday, today and forever. 

If that were true, a whole of the New Testament is sure wasted on things that don't matter anymore. 

Jesus went about doing good and destroying the works of the devil. And Jesus told us that 

John 14:12

12 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.
See, Jesus said he that believeth on Him.  Well, that is me and anyone else that believes Jesus is who he said He is.

What exciting times we have in store for us. Jesus is waking up His church. No longer is it going to be a building with programs. But A body of living stones doing exploits for the Lord and magnifying the Lord with hymns, psalms, and spiritual songs. The lame will walk, the blind see, the deaf hear, the oppressed be set free, and the dead raised.

And that is why I am so excited. What the enemy (devil) meant for a death warrant for me has been changed into an exciting hunger for life in Christ. God promises to work good out of everything. And He is. 

Just gotta love my Jesus and the plans He has for me and my friends and family and church and nation and this world. 

God is good.  Remember that.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Getting Things Straight

I'm feeling great. Believing I am healed. And so excited  in the things of the Lord. He is showing me amazing things. His Word has come alive for me again. I feel His strength and love and am excited to see what He has in store for me.

BUT first, I have some cleaning to do.  The other day our septic stopped up on the bathroom my 91 yr old Father in Law and his Visiting Angels use. I was about to feel blah when the Lord provided a rainbow for me. I could see the entire arc and ends. God is good. His promise that HE is there no matter what you are going through.

Yep, have to call one of these guys to come and take care of the septic. The Lord will provide.

But more than my septic system needing cleaning, my heart needs some major work.  So I am calling out to the Lord :

Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Breast cancer is often caused by bitterness and unforgiveness. 

Bitter and unforgiving? I pondered that, Didn't sound like me. Really? Was there a mistaken attack? I really didn't qualify for the bitter unforgiving label. 

Hmm, It didn't take long and the Lord reminded me there is the whole half of the country I had deemed 'idiot' for electing the president we now have. And then there is the matter of that man in the White House and congress. 

Oops - I have a lot of repenting to do. A lot of forgiving to do. It doesn't matter if I am 'right' and they so wrong in my eyes. That comes from eating of the Tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil. The tree that bears the fruit that brings death. 

What matters is am I totally submitted to the Lord? 
Honestly, no. I see that there are things I am hanging onto. Rights. Humor trips me up, but I love funny. MINE, ugh that selfish side of me. And the worst -pride. And I am sure more cobwebs and dirt that I don't recognize yet.

I do desire to be wholly sold out to the Lord. It is a process, and the Lord is merciful and with His Grace I will submit to Him. So that is my top priority right now. 

How will I go about cleaning my heart - Read the Word. Washing of the word. Eating the Bread of Life and surrendering. 

God is good.

On the medical merry-go-round side - I have a Petscan Wed. at 8:20 am

Appreciate your prayers. I'm not worried or afraid. Just another of those things to do.  


Proverbs 16:24

 Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

Friday, March 8, 2013

A Farmin' did I Go : )

Whew, I feel like a farmer after going to Super Kroger and harvesting $195 worth of healthy foods. Organic is expensive, but  that would only be 12 times eating out. Plus I did get coconut oil, extra virgin olive oil, and flax seed oil, toothpaste, and shampoo - I wouldn't be buying those every week.

Just finished my berry smoothy.  Yummm. Now that is good.  Later I'll  make a veggie drink.

I am sure my body is wondering what in the world is going on.  No cokes or junk food. I've drank more water in 2 weeks than I have had in years. I am sure those cancer cells are cringing.  I can see them all huddled like the insects in a RAID commercial.  Hehe

Look what I found on FB yesterday.



Let truth rule and reign in your heart, and be done with the presumption that  
comes with projecting yourself into the future.  No matter how much you  think 
you know about what is ahead, you only have a glimpse of that which has  not yet 
become reality.  And, the truth will be exaggerated and distorted  by your 
imagination.  It will benefit you greatly if you can get real and  stay real 
right here and now, says the Lord.

Had to laugh and thank the Lord. These prophetic words have somewhat followed this journey I am on.  

I am excited. God is working things out to good. My family is coming alive. Not just eating healthy but feasting on the Word of God. For the Bread of Life is what makes me alive. God's Living Word.  


John 6:63

63 It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.

Feast on the Word of God. Strengthen your inner man and watch your faith grow strong. 

Live Abundantly!